Too Late To Apologize
by mcdreamy-lover89
Summary: Sequel to Standing Tall. Two months later, Derek is having second thoughts but what he doesn't realize is, that its too late to apologize. One Shot. A little bit of MerMark.


**Derek walked through the hospital like he owned the place, like he did everyday. Him and Rose had been dating for two months and honestly she wasn't all he thought she would be, actually she was a really nice person the problem still was that she wasn't Meredith Grey. It bugged Derek that he still pined after a woman that just kept hurting him.**

_' Addison Shepherd, and you must be the woman who has been screwing my husband.'_

**He frowned as his mind thought back to that day, he pushed Meredith's heart broken face from his head, this was not his fault. It wasnt, it was her fault, her fault for not being ready to commit. Her fault for being so dark and twisty all of the time. She would never trust anyone and she would end up alone, it was her own fault. He saw her standing at the nurse's station and once again his best friend was standing beside her, they were both chatting and laughing. Since he broke up with Meredith every time he see's her she is talking to Mark. He sighed and walked up to them. She glanced in his direction and muttered something to Mark before walking away. Thats all she ever did now, she just walked away from him. When they worked together she wouldn't look him in the eye, she acted like he didn't exist. Why was he getting the silent treatment? She was the one that ruined their relationship, not him.**

_'So pick me, choose me, love me'_

**"Why is it that every time I see you now, you have my ex girlfriend attached to your hip?" Derek asked bitterly.**

**"Me and Meredith are just friends Derek, besides even if we weren't whats it to you? You broke up with her remember, besides your dating whats her face?" Mark smirked.**

**"Rose" Derek said through gritted teeth.**

**"Right, **_**Rose**_**" Mark said sarcastically. "Anyways man, Meredith and I are friends, I like her she is cool" he smiled. **

**"How so?"**

**"She is over that feeling sorry for herself stage, less annoying" Mark smiled. "She has turned into a person, without all that baggage. You know, she has dealt with the mommy thing, the tequila thing, the daddy thing, the nearly dying thing and her last bit of baggage was you and she has let that go too" Mark smiled. "Got to go, see you later man"**

**Derek's stomach fell, why did it bother him so much that she let him go? No he didn't care, she will always be damaged and unwilling to trust. What really made Derek sick was that Mark knew all this stuff about Meredith that he didn't know. He didn't know she was actually facing her problems, but Mark knew? She talked to Mark Sloan? Why would she trust Mark and not him?**

_' Oh, your staying with her.'_

_'Yeah. She's my wife.'_

**"Hey" Rose pulled Derek from his thoughts.**

**"Hey" he said distracted.**

**"We still on for tonight?"**

**"What?" Derek frowned.**

**"Our date tonight?"**

**"Oh yeah. Yeah we are" he tried but failed to smile. She smiled though and kissed him on the cheek.**

**"Great, see you later"**

**"Yeah later" he sighed and walked away.**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Mark smiled when he saw Meredith leaning against a wall alone, she looked exhausted but still beautiful. He walked over and stood beside her.**

**"You look like crap." He smiled.**

**"Thanks" Meredith rolled her eyes.**

**"In a good way of course"**

**"Yeah I knew that" she smirked.**

**"So we have been getting along well that last two months"**

**"Your point is?" Meredith asked.**

**"I have evolved from a man whore to a fairly nice guy and you have evolved from dark and twisty to fairly bright and shiny."**

**"Yep" she nodded.**

**"Can I take you to dinner tonight Meredith Grey?" Mark smirked.**

**"You want to go out on a date with me?" Meredith raised her eyebrows.**

**"Yes I do" Mark nodded.**

**"What about Derek?"**

**"What about him?" Mark shrugged. "He is with that nurse as we both know and to be honest its none of his business."**

**"Hmmm you are so right."**

**"So is that a yes?" Mark asked hopeful.**

**"OK then" she smiled and kissed his cheek. "Lobby at seven?"**

**"Lobby at seven" he nodded and smiled to himself as she walked away.**

**Derek froze to his spot when he saw Meredith smile and kiss Mark's cheek. Jealousy burned through him. He had no right to be jealous, but his body didn't seem to care, anger rose. How dare she kiss his friend on the cheek. Flaunting it all over the hospital, another example of her being damaged. Sleeping with Mark and adding him to the other hundred guys she has probably slept with this month. Typical Meredith Grey.**

_'Whose next Alex? Because I hear he likes to sleep around, you two have that in common.'_

_'You don't get to call me a whore.'_

**Derek shook the past from his head again, why were these thoughts coming up now? He wasn't the reason she is damaged he just wasn't. It wasn't his fault. **

_'Your the guy that screwed up my friend'_

**Was it his fault? Did everyone think so? No. He shook his head. It wasn't his fault, it couldn't be, it was her fault. He saw Cristina doing charts and decided to talk to her about it. He walked over and leaned beside her. Cristina glanced at him and rolled her eyes. Maybe if she ignored him he would go away. Didn't work.**

**"What do you want?" She snapped without looking at him.**

**"Do you blame me for Meredith?" He asked. "Do you think its my fault?"**

**"I don't think its your fault. I know its your fault. Your a joke Shepherd, I heard what you said to her. **_**"You don't trust anybody." **_**She just doesn't trust you, with good reason. Your an ass, you lied about being married, you chose your wife, called her a whore for moving on, left her again, hit on her sister, then dumped her for a skanky nurse. Stay the hell away from my friend because this time I will locate a scalpel and make your death look like an accident. Your an asshole." She slammed her chart shut and walked away leaving Derek dumbfounded. It was his fault. He broke her all the time. Mcdreamy? More like Mcjerk, he sighed when he saw Rose, she was the rebound girl. It wasn't going anywhere, it wasn't fair to her. Tonight he would end it.**

_'I'm walking away'_

**Damn thoughts just go away.**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Derek looked across the table at Rose, like he has for two months. Tonight was different, he felt lighter knowing he was going to stop living a lie after tonight.**

**"Rose I don't think this is working." Derek sighed.**

**"Me neither"**

**"You don't?" Derek asked shocked.**

**"Please Derek, every time I look at you your staring at Meredith Grey. Or in a world of your own probably thinking about Meredith Grey. We were never going to work, I was an idiot to think that you liked me." She sighed.**

**"I do like you Rose." **

**"Yes but I'm not Meredith Grey"**

_'I'm not Meredith Grey'_

**"I've heard that one before" he half smiled.**

**"I bet you have" she smiled. "Well it was kind of fun I guess."**

**"I'm sorry Rose." **

**"Me too. Different life time maybe" she smiled and got up. "Goodbye Derek."**

**"Bye Rose" he sighed and watched her leave. **

_'I love you and I want you but I don't think I want to keep breathing for you'_

**That one was harsh. Derek sighed as he remembered that night in bed. What she said to him the next day made him feel worse about what he had put her through.**

_'Now is not the time to give up on me'_

**He gave up. He left her, he was an ass, Cristina was right but then again Cristina was always right. He had to put this right. He went out to his car and began taking a familiar route, a route he hadn't taken in two months. It was late, she would probably be asleep by now but he had to do this.**

_'I met a woman last night'_

_'Should I be worried or something?'_

_'Should you be worried that I met a woman? No. Should you be worried that flirting with that woman was the highlight of my week? Yeah, you should be worried or something.'_

**Smooth Derek, really smooth. Rub it in her face that you have other options. That really helped with her insecurities. He pulled up outside her house and sat in the car. He mentally prepared himself to knock on her door and tell her how he felt. Again. He got out of the car and walked up to the door. He slowly knocked and waited for one of her many friends to open the door, he hoped she would be the one to open it but he didn't hold out much hope, she never answered the door. Like he predicted it was Izzie who opened it, she scowled at him and he suddenly felt the need to run away.**

**"Dr Stevens" he nodded curtly.**

**"What do you want?" She snapped.**

**"Is Meredith here?" He asked nervously.**

**"Don't do this again, just turn around and walk away, if you like her at all just leave her alone. She is better off without you" she said coldly.**

**"Please, I need to do this." He pleaded. Izzie stared him down and realized he wasn't going anywhere. "Meredith door for you" Izzie called into the kitchen she scowled one more time before walking away. Meredith was laughing when she walked out of the kitchen, he laughter straight away stopped when she saw who was at the door. She rolled her eyes and frowned when she saw him.**

**"What do you want Derek?" She scowled.**

**"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything Mer. I'm sorry for Addison, I'm sorry for calling you a whore, I'm sorry for needing space, I'm sorry for not wanting to breathe for you, because I do Meredith I want to breathe for you. I want to do everything for you. I'm sorry for flirting with Lexie, I'm even more sorry for rubbing it in your face. I was being selfish. I'm sorry for Rose, it was a mistake. I didn't know you were trying to get ready to be with me. I just...I love you Meredith, I always have, I'm just so sorry, I've been so selfish. You should have been able to lean on me through everything, but how could you when I keep letting you down? Thats it, I just...I came here to say sorry." **

**He took a breath and looked at her, she didn't melt like she used to when he was being dreamy, Derek frowned. It wasn't working, she wasn't falling into his arms like she used to, she just stood there looking at him.**

**"Say something Mer" he sighed.**

**"You can't do this again Derek. I can't do this again. You broke my heart and you will always have a piece of it but Derek, its too late to apologize...Its just...Its too late" she shrugged. "I'm sorry but I'm moving on, I can't put myself through that again. Goodbye Derek" Meredith sighed and shut the door in his face. His heart gave way but all his head told him was,**

_'Its too late to apologize. Its too late.' _

So I know its harsh on Derek and if he does give her another romantic speech, I hope she gives in because I love them together but honestly he doesn't deserve another chance because Derek Shepherd is an ass!!! A very hot ass but an ass none the less LOL. Review Please. I put in a little Mer Mark because they are my secret ship, I would love Mer to hook up with Mark on the show even just to get back at Derek. It would be so great because Mark is the best character on the show and Mer Mark are cool together.


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